The little green monster

2010-09-12T23:26:00.003+08:00

This story of my life is now closed..

Unfortunately it closed without a happy ending.

Life runs in chapters.. and the next part of it is here..

www.fingers-that-speak.blogspot.com

2010-04-12T22:19:00.001+08:00

2010-04-10T15:22:00.000+08:00

Help lines to help you find 'the ONE'

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/88948/dating-101-have-you-found-your-soul-mate

2010-04-10T11:34:00.008+08:00

I've got so many questions.. so many frustration going in my head now..

but i guess the main question i've always wanted to know is.

Why do you always choose the lowest point in my life.. to leave?

I'd always have to find myself dealing with it on my own... trying to find a crutch to pull myself up and then try to find ways and means to pull you up as well..

It feels like when I feel like i am falling, you'd push me onto the floor even harder.. and evey time, a piece of me gets broken inside. And when i feel like i am slowly healing when i finally almost pick myself up, you decide to push me down harder.

As much as there are things you disagree in my personality and my behavior, there are things I disagree in your personality and your behavior as well. Things I am unhappy about, but accepted and have adapted. But to me.. all you want is a perfect gf. The kind that you can change and customize to your liking. No compromise, no disguise. And after inflicting hurt on me, the reason is because of my imperfection?

Please, find me someone who can tell me that his/her partner is perfect.

When you said you are not sure if i am the 'right someone'.. then tell me.. how right is your right?

There are so many occasion, when your imperfection keeps running through my head. It was so easy for me to say.. you're not the right someone too.

You didnt have to lie to me.. you could just go and do what you want.. without telling me..

How often do i even check on you... Was I ever that possessive to call you ever few hours just to check on you? Have I ever gone through your calls list, your smses, your emails, or anything else that i'd probably am able to check on you. I probably wouldn't even bother to check on you if you hadn't told me you were not feeling well.. Because you know that every time you're ill, i'd definitely go down to look for you.. just to bring food and check if you are alright.

You shouldn't have told me that you were ill and that you were gonna sleep through... I'd probably wouldn't have know you lied.. I told you... I rather be kept in the dark, then to find out things i shouldn't. It is a huge blow to me to deal with..

You told me it is disgusting for you to lie.. And did you realized I just stood there speechless? Honestly, till now i do not know what to say. Because you really need not have to lie.

Yes, I am flawed.. I've never disagree with that. I disagree on your friends. But honestly asked yourself if i had been nice to them in the beginning. To drive them home, buy them bday dinners and everything just to please them. But after having them treat me like dirt just because I am your gf.. and for them to presumingly 'fault' me for making you gay... is it no reason for me being upset? Do you think I enjoy the feeling of being hated just for being your partner? I wished you'd understand and not rub salt into my wounds.

And now i have to pay the price for not only being ostracized, but to be punished for disagreeing with the same bunch of people who detest me for nothing?

We can't be happy every single day, or try to find issues to make ourselves happy. I do try to think of ways and means to make you happy. Perhaps you are unable to see it or its something which i don't often boast to you. Whether is it trying to find activities on weekends to do with you despite being burnt out the entire week from work, or rushing work out just to go home to spend time with you, or hearing you rant at me even after a bad day at work, trying to work hard to earn enough to start a new life somewhere with you, or simply just being committed to our relationship.

Committed to a relationship.. It's something new to me.. does it makes you smile knowing that I am working hard on it? Or does it not make you happy enough?

I know you think that I am just being stupid.. and that it was not necessary for me to even do stupid things like that. But if all these stupidity is worth anything for, it is anything for us..

If wanting our relationship to go nowhere and just make ourselves happy just living everyday that it is.. yes.. this is stupid.. But I want you to know that I am committed to this relationship and to you.. and I do want to take it to a whole new level.

I'm sorry if i am always understating your level of maturity. But it's not about trying ways and means to make ourselves happier. It's by looking around you, identify the things that makes you happy and be content.

I always thought that I was the one who could make you happy. What I didn't realized is that you were still seeking other ways to make you even happier because what i can provide for u cannot satisfy your needs for the ultimate happiness.

I can easily blame you for all the unhappiness in my life.. For being so hard at work to earn money for us such that I don't even have a proper social life.. for putting myself in that coffin with you so that I will not go back to my philanderer ways.. But have i ever blamed you?

Yes, go.. and find out what is important in your life.. But i hope.. this would be the last time you're going to question yourself what is important. Because I really.. really really am very broken inside.. don't keep pushing me back down.. especially not when my life's at its lowest..

You know my stand, you have always been the most important person in my life.. and it still and always holds.

Thank you..

2010-04-08T02:01:00.002+08:00

I acknowledge that I am not a great partner.. and definitely far from being perfect.

All i can say, is that I have given my best but of course.. which human don't flaw?

I'm sorry that my flaws are too much for you to handle..

And I'm sorry that I don't know how to make it any better.

I am a perfectionist when it comes to work.. but I'm sorry i can't achieve that state of perfection to offer you in our time together.

I'm sorry that I couldn't see and solve the problem that was such a thorn in your heart, as it was in my heart all along.

Im sorry that I was unable to take that thorn out from my heart..

I'm sorry for placing that thorn in your heart.

Most importantly, I'm sorry for holding you too closely and tightly to my heart..

now, i'm letting you free to smile again..

2010-01-29T03:57:00.002+08:00

Tired... depressed.. sigh..

I'm sorry.. but it always seem to me that u're only there through good.. and never bad..

then again. i'm already so used to it.

2010-01-17T23:22:00.003+08:00

I promised myself not to mentioned this to her ever again..

And at one point.. I gave up the idea of it totally..

because it hurts to always turned down.. and each time.. it gets worst.

I should have known better.

that I am not the "one" you see with in the future.

that I am not the "one" you want to spend the rest of ur life with.

that I am not the "one".. just.. the "one".

All i worry.. is that u won't be able to take care of urself there... that there'll be nobody to cook for u.. nobody to hug you when u're cold.. nobody to give you help on ur homework. I wanted to start planning.. i really don't have much time to gather my finances right.

I was naive.

Do you think I really want to give up my comfort zone here? Where my friends, my family, my career is?

A friend.. always ask.. why am i always so morbid.. why am i always talking about dying and when will it be my time to die..

then i ask.. what is there to live for?

she said.. "the girl.. and your future with her.."

future?

An issue.. I promise.. that I will never ever mention again.

I'll just wait till my time is up..

2009-12-22T02:14:00.002+08:00

Year 2009 is coming to an end..

Recollections of the entire year..

One of the worst years I've had.. probably the worst..

Resolutions not met.. Wishes are still left unanswered..

Career's a blank..

Lost a family member..

Love's a drifter..

Life's a mess..

I'd gladly wipe out the entire memory of 2009..

However am still thankful for the very few times.. when i caught myself in times of joy and happiness..

The times..

but it's getting tiring.. very tiring..

and you wonder when would everything quickly come to an end..

when you're sick of being so emotional at every single thing..

when people around you are sick of seeing you swing like a pendulum

tick tock tick tock tick tock...

you wish so much it would stop ticking..

stop beating..

stop.

Grant me one wish for christmas.. just one..

Not any travel trips.. not any gold and diamond in the sky.. not the best gadgets in the world..

I just want my time to stop.

That's all.

2009-11-11T12:20:00.001+08:00

heart pain.. very very very pain..

2009-11-11T11:49:00.003+08:00

I never had the luxury of having you by my side when i am down..

And that's alright.

Just stop making me feel worst.

2009-11-11T10:51:00.005+08:00

Sometimes.. when u're down.. u wished there's someone there for you..

When things just keep going wrong.. and more wrong.. you wished there's someone who'd lift your spirits up..

Wish.. yes wish..

Love is.. being with your loved one through good ~~and bad~~

Then you realised that most of the time, your loved one leaves you in the worst times.

That's when I no longer believe in love.

2009-11-11T10:29:00.002+08:00

Was looking at some old pics..

Reminiscing what known as history..

time takes *u away..

2009-11-10T14:42:00.003+08:00

It's pretty weird how life works..

Goes Up Down Left Right.. sometimes you get the things you want.. but more often than not, the things you don't want. When things are good.. everything seems so perfect.. When things goes bad, everything seems to fall together.

Some seek solace in God when things go wrong..

Some.. seek death..

Some.. becomes delusional..

Some.. just don't bother..

Yesterday we celebrate for good news, tomorrow the same news is actually a trick in disguise. Without any reasoning.. without any who to blame..

Then the people who shared their toasts with you walks away.. too afraid to partake in your misery.

"Everyone has their set of problems to deal with" they say.

The world is cold.. very cold..

and it is probably the best thing she'd never have to see how cold this world actually is..

2009-11-08T23:58:00.002+08:00

It has been cold.. really cold..

It's like.. suddenly.. the heart starts to crystallize and before you know it.. it starts to extrude some form of defense mechanism that will cause some form of mental block out or just cause you to go into a span of blankness in which you:

1) Do not know whether to laugh or cry

2) Do not know what to say or do

3) Do not know what on earth is happening

4) Do not wish to know whether anything will happen next

In the next of a second.. you feel like you're in your cocoon of your comfort zone. In the world where only yourself exist..

Then the coldness comes in like a blistering blizzard. And when the freezing cold sets in, it cuts your heart like frost bite. All you wish at that instance.. is for the wind to take your final breath away..

2009-10-27T00:05:00.002+08:00

Don't ever...

1) ask me if i am happy

2) remind me of my b'day (it doesn't exist anymore)

Thanks..

2009-10-22T23:24:00.001+08:00

i hope you're home..

it's late.. it's dangerous..

and i'm not sure if there's anyone to drive you home..

anyway..

good night..

2009-10-22T19:51:00.002+08:00

For better, for worst

To cherish and to hold

To love and to honor

Through sickness and in health

Till death do us part

In the game of love

there's a winner

there's a loser

game's over

I am defeated

I have withdrawn

the winner cheers with joy

the loser hides in tears

2009-10-22T01:15:00.001+08:00

As much as I want to be with you...

will you take care of my heart or would you break it like u did

if i were to hand it back to u?

2009-10-22T00:16:00.002+08:00

It's been almost two weeks.. and i'm supposed to be moving on fine..

She has her daily dinner dates.. while i'm starving off mine..

I've listed a few reasons why I think I'm suffering and she's ~~not~~??

1) Ive been a b*tch?

2) I'm annoying and irritating?

3) I make her angry all the time?

4) She can't stand me?

5) I loved her more than she ever loved me

I'm still searching for whys for 1 -4.. if you do know why.. please please please let me know..

I need to put and end to this.. and start moving off from here..

2009-10-20T22:29:00.002+08:00

2 days more.. to decide if i should go or not..

~~and i hope you'll ---d me --c-~~

2009-10-20T21:05:00.001+08:00

I had a bad day today..

And the weird thing is.. I am so used to spending bad days alone..

2009-10-20T20:59:00.000+08:00

Was it a picture I didn't see?

Of a distant memory

Captured in the reels of time

Hung upon, a worthless dime

It took three steps, or maybe four

Quietly, i heard myself fall

A piercing pain choked through the veins

Blood can't flow through tatted heart.

These beautiful knots, like butterflies

Of frivolous pleasures and the many lies

Snow capped mountains, in the far west.

two gowns, a ring, one flawless dream.

It'll be winter in the summer breeze

Showers of flowers and the nuptial wine.

A long checklist, nothing missed.

All written yet in an invisible ink.

2009-10-20T19:29:00.002+08:00

I've deleted a hell load of post from this blog.. 30? maybe 40? more?

I've locked this blog for far too long... with contents I never want to let anyone see.. Not even the closest one. It's too sad.. very sad.. and I wonder what have I done to deserve this? It's all deleted, all erased... I've re-opened my blog once again.. But I wonder.. when will I ever open my heart once again.

2009-05-06T00:24:00.002+08:00

Seems like I have disappeared for a long long time from this blog..

Anyway, I just came back from a well-deserved break from Perth.. and I grew another year older 3 days ago..

Loved Perth.. loved the holiday..

My bday's cursed though.. this year's no exception.. And as usual, the wish never came true.. Anyway.. I'm kinda very much used to it... though I am beginning to doubt my meaning of 'happiness'...

Still.. I am grateful for the love, the nice smses and well wishes of those who remembered. And of course Saphy and Sini for paying twice the amount of money to travel to Perth with Vel and myself..

Thanks..

I'll probably upload the pics and the updates on the Perth trip when I am less busy.. cos for now.. it's back to work once again.. =(

2009-04-04T15:59:00.004+08:00

It's been a long time since I've touched my blog.. goodness...

Anyway.. Life has never been happier.. and I am glad where I am heading from here. Pretty afraid though.. afraid of losing loads of what I have now.

The love of my life.. the greatest pals in my life.. my career.. my family.. I really appreciate all that I'm having now. Thank God.

Just came back from Bintan after celebrating the 10th year of friendship between Xian and myself. =)

Looking forward to spending more quality time with my darling dada bear in our next overseas holiday to Perth next month.. I have to make up for my busy-ness to my precious one... And amidst of all the busy-ness, I definitely have to thank my darling for being the most supportive, most patient, most accomodating and most understand gf ever.

Ooo.. shall upload some of the pictures taken from our 2nd anniversary last December at Pulau Ubin! =)

May the happy moments last forever.. =)

2009-02-08T03:02:00.003+08:00

Feeling kinda.. emo.. now..

Perhaps after (grabbing dada's arm throughout the movie while) crying like a bucket after watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Boy this is one of the best ever film I've watched in my entire life!).

I particularly loved this scene where this old man, suffering from dementia, repeats his story of being struck by a lightning 7 times in his life. The scenes were kinda comical.. but as we were laughing, the story brought to our realization that although his memory was failing, he remembered that he was thankful he is alive.

Many times.. we only remember the horrible things that once struck out lives and our relationships. But really.. what came out of it?

I didn't strike TOTO yesterday although hoping and praying so hard for it. Perhaps if i really did win, I'd probably end up being some kind of compulsive gambler and not do anything meaningful with my life. I know the importance of money, but I guess what I get the most out of it, is working for it. And when the time comes where i were to die, I know, I've really lived.

I can't remember where i read this from but it goes something like this.. If you stop wanting, you stop wanting to live. And perhaps it is our natural instinct to expect more from what we already have. I'm now learning how to translate this need into a desire to achieve happiness. And really, I am happy. Satisfied with my life, my career, and the girl who reminds me that I am being loved so much.

Weirdly, I'm becoming more and more positive by each day. And of course, I've never been happier with my life.

How about you? What makes you happy?

2009-01-01T22:13:00.003+08:00

It's been a great year. Loads of ups.. loads of downs... Haven't really touched my blog for a long time. Which is good! Being busy is good. Busy with work, busy with friends, and of course spending time with the love of my life.

2 days ago marked our 2nd year of togetherness. Wow! It's been such a journey. A lovely one of course.

We watched fireworks with another friend couple of ours. They are a new pair while we are considered 'old (love)birds'. They were happily chirping away beside us, while we both looked out to the river in silence. Oddly, It was this indescribable feeling of sheer comfort. We somehow were sharing this moment of warm peacefulness, as if our inner-self could somehow feel each. It make so much sense to say Love is a feeling, and not just words.

I want to remember the feeling forever. I want this feeling to be constant. To pick me up when any of us fall. To cajole us during our down times. To pave more roads for us to explore. To be in love. With you, with me.

Will u remember this with me?

2008-12-11T23:39:00.002+08:00

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
~~Boy~~(Girl) I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

-Lucky (Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat)

2008-11-15T10:08:00.003+08:00

There's not a star in the sky we can't reach.

Rid myself of all past. And I see a much beautiful future with you. I really do. In which, I've become a much happier person.

I love you. And i sincerely mean it from the bottom of my heart.

2008-10-18T02:02:00.006+08:00

It's 2.02a.m. I am honestly very awake.

Times are bad.. Economy is bad.. I can predict money coming in slow for the next year. Ya.. my blog's almost like a travelogue already, but I guess we wouldn't be going out of Singapore anytime soon. Let me work a bit harder and save even harder so that we can travel to nicer places. I'm aiming for either London/Paris or Johannesburg/Cape Town. Which... sadly.. may take quite some time for me to save.

On a side note.. I'm super duper motivated recently. I realized how foolish I was in uni when I thought that everyone else in class were so professional and good and that I was some lousy piece of sai not worthy to be a designer. It's only now.. that i finally know that being a designer isn't just about creating the most awesome and creative layout or designs. Simply just solve the client's problems. Good servicing, that's it. And everything is good to go. =)

Sometimes it gets so hectic, i go crazy. Sometimes it gets so tiring, I wish I can get some more rest. Sometimes I have to smile at some anal fucking idiots out there, I wish I could just punch that fella in the face. But at the end of the day, it feels good when the receiver welcomes the FAs with a nice big smile. =) I really love what I am doing. I love it when clients say that my work is fantastic. I love that self-confidence I see in myself. I think I've found my niche in this line.

On another side note: If YOU are out there looking for a FANTASTIC designer to facilitate your marketing objectives, in terms of graphic design, corporate brochure, collaterals, newsletters, advertorials, direct mailers, pamphlets, packaging design, publications, brand/logo design, etc etc.. please do feel free to contact me at designer@thesquarebox.com.sg. I take in almost any forms of request for my portfolio, quotations, or any other forms of enquiries.

And I need to get my website up soonish. darn.

Continuation on my Aussie trip.. (which I'm taking like ages to complete..)

The biggest achievement of this trip, other than spending quality time with Dada, is... I got to catch up with many dearest ones.

Most importantly, my sister whom I miss greatly. Although she was so busy at her cafe, she still took time out to spend some time with me. Not much.. but I really appreciate it. I was supposed to help her out at her cafe.. but end up spending most of my time everywhere else.. Haha.. feel pretty bad actually.. Love her to bits!

Nicholas.. the sweetest, nicest guy I've ever known although I've been the most evil, meanest, and everything else horrible to him. And although he was busy with school work and stuff, he still made it a point to come out as often as he could to meet up with me.

I was there timely for his graduation. Weird fella who wants to graduate from his Bachelor's when he's still doing his Honours. But still, I was glad I could be there. It feels so weird.. because just a decade ago, he was this young boy in his tight school shorts and 'durian' head. Now, a matured, fine young man in his graduation gown. It's so weird how much I detest him last time, yet now, he's the only guy i can hug forever without feeling weird.

Oh.. and I called on Evelyn and Clement so that i could visit their newborn baby. Met up with Christine before taking a one hour train down to their house which was out in the suburbs. It was nice catching up so much with her!

Eve and Clem's precious one.. Baby Rachael. She's super cute la. So tiny! That's my hand above her head..

Taking a bath in winter is NEVER nice. And that usually cuts half my shower time. Faster in, faster out. Baby Rachael was so docile, she never made a single complain or frown a single bit.

She's the most manageable infant I've ever seen. According to Evelyn, she doesn't cry or make noisy baby noise most of the time. In terms of personality, I think that Baby Rachael resembles much of Clement.

More pics of her.. Sorry.. but she's just too cute!

Honestly, I wasn't quite sure if she was giving us 'the finger'.. We were happily playing with her when she was obviously trying to get some sleep..

Aww.. And I caught her yawning! Sooooo cute...

Mummy Evelyn and baby Rachael... so sweet.. =)

Christine.. feeling like a Mummy..

And I finally had my turn at carrying her. Seriously, I can throw nuggets up and down.. swing him left and right. But when it comes to human babies.. I'd be all jittery and everything.

And Evelyn had to adjust Rachael so that she sits perfectly in my arms..

Sadly.. No.. no maternal instincts or anything of such. Especially when Evelyn explained in-depth the painful process of pregnancy and giving birth eventually. Guys are such lucky idiots man.. I'm thankful I'm gay for now.

It was just like yesterday when we were still sitting ard the IMD studio.. chatting and laughing away. And how Clement always go ard entertaining us with his yoyo and magic tricks.. and Evelyn.. always nagging and putting pressure on us to meet our datelines.. I remembered that there was a rough patch before they started dating.. and now, they're proud parents of a beautiful girl.

Christine was really nice to invite me over to her place and afterwhich for a nice Korean dinner with her siblings that night.

John couldn't join us that day. But nevertheless, we still managed to meet up for some catching up the following day. Although we were never close, it was nice spending 4 hours on ticket to ride.

And they were really nice to come all the way to my sis's cafe to look me up.

And of course.. Marcus.. who was in Melbourne on a surprise trip. And as usual, I caught him tackling some Asian girls he made friends with. Marcus, marcus.. you're engaged! tsk tsk tsk..

Right.. it's 4.31a.m. now.. I don't think I know what i am writing about now.. time to sleep.. till my next update... adios!

2008-10-04T07:58:00.000+08:00

I am totally addicted to travelling. It isn't really my fault since most of the best memories and happiest times we have of us (except for the day we officially got together as an item) were all away from Singapore.

Ya.. i know people are asking where do I get the dollars to feed this hobby of mine. To get this straight, I am NOT rich, I do NOT get my parents to fund my trips, and do not resort to illegal means to get the 'root of all evil'. I am young and is supposed to be earning very little. But while others are smoking, drinking, clubbing their lives away, I don't. And not spending on all these can add up to quite a substantial amount alright. So here's the tip, butt the cigarettes, save your livers, and protect your ear drums. It's so dumb. Because neither of the habits mentioned above benefit your life in anyway either.

Finally I am back to blogging. Because my dearest gf wakes up late on weekends and I finally don't have work to trouble over this weekend.

It's been long since I've been really cheery and stuff. Tempers are on the rise, bad mood swings, and unreasonable attitudes. I know I haven't been of acceptable behavior, but thanks for being there for me. And I hope you'd be able to be more tolerant of me. I appreciate everything you've done, from not waking me up when i am already asleep and walking home alone late at night because you know that i am dead tired, for buying dinner for me when I had to do work till late, for waiting for me everyday, for giving me nice soothing massages, for everything else that is too much to mention. Thank you for you. It's time to bring you on a nice trip soon ya? I promise. =) While on the wait, here's to reminisce ...

We kick started the next morning hot... We woke up perspiring underneath the electro-heated blanket. But when I opened the bedroom door, the cold air that rushed into the room was enough to send all kinds of shiver into my skin and up every single bones in my body. I quickly prepared the breakfast and lunch for the day before we headed back to the prom.

And since we haven't noted any police petrols at the prom, I asked Dada to take over the wheel while i took the backseat for a while just to admire the beautiful scenery.

I told Dada to go slow. I see no point of driving at a such a high speed because I wanted a nice slow drive to enjoy the view around. Also, there were animals everywhere crossing the roads. And we were definitely not there for a hunting trip.

True enough, we spotted a wombat crossing the road! But before we could grab the camera, he scrambled into the bushes. =(

This place is so beautiful, I wouldn't mind coming here for a second time if ever I go back to Victoria again.

Our first stop was squeaky beach, the most popular beach of the prom. Here, we were supposed to be able to walk around barefooted while hearing the sand make a squeaking sound beneath our soles. They are also known as the 'singing sand' because of the sound the pure white quartz sand produced while walking on it.

On the way to the beach, we saw a wallaby! Dada's favourite aussie animal! =)

To our disappointment, the sands were not singing that day. It probably be due to the rain, thus the wet sand that cracked instead of squeak.

Still, we made the best out of it! Camwhoring! =)

It's so nice winding down the window while driving. For one, it can reduce fogging on the windscreen. Also, the air that comes in is cool enough to provide free air-conditioning. You can even smell the freshness of the air. Something that i never want to do in Singapore.

There's so many other places to explore in the Prom. Sadly, we only gave ourselves 2 days for this trip. But of course, we had to choose the best. Next up was Whisky Beach.

We were there for the sand dunes and the scenery.

Love love love the formations of nature, and the greatness of the creator.

We brought along a friskbie as it was apparently cultural for the aussies to do such activities by the beaches and stuff. Especially so at Whisky beach, because of the lovely sand dunes that will give us a nice landing cushion if we decided to fly and fall. It's the annoying cold and wet weather that ruined our plans.. =(

Although Whisky Beach was our last intended stop, I wasn't pleased that we haven't found the Emu YET. And i've promised Dada that I will find and introduce to her ALL the animals I've been telling her about in Singapore.

I decided to drive around aimlessly and into the wilderness, off the main road track, At the same time, find a nice secluded spot to stop for lunch. Before we knew it, we found her tottering happily in front of us!

She looked like an ostrich from far. Up close, she's so much prettier!

Accomplishing our agenda, it was time for a 3 hours journey to Mount Dandenong. This was a bonus since we did not plan that for our journey. She is known for her beautiful eucalyptus forest and, wine yards and valleys. But I really wanted to bring Dada there for the loveliest beef pies, scones and devonshire teas.

The scones and beef pie is the bestest I've ever eaten. Unlike the usualy scones we eat in Singapore, the scones here are soft and fluffy that goes the best with strawberry jam and fresh clotted cream.

Pie in the Sky is award winning for their beef pies. And I've never doubted it every since the first time I was there. Although there are many similar restaurants and cafes around, I would only go back to Pie in the Sky.

By the time we reached Melbourne, it was dusk.. and there was nowhere else to go for any sort of activities. So... it was time to head to the casino!

Was Dada's first time into the casino! Yea.. since she just turned 21 not long ago. =) We didn't gamble though.. because my luck suck every single time I'm at the casino. I am cursed! And I am a sore loser especially when it comes to losing MONEY! Haha.. So it was just a nice casual tour around the tables and jackpot machines, dinner, and loads of shopping since the mall at Crown don't close till late.

After Crown, I suddenly remembered that Dada hasn't seen the Possum yet! It's kinda funny because possums are almost everywhere in australia to the point that they're more like pests than anything else. They're like stray cats in Singapore. The only difference is that they don't walk aimlessly around the city. I quickly stopped my car by the side of a big park and it did not take us long before we found her. =)

Very much satisfied. Because I FINALLY found all the animals for Dada! =) And I love seeing that excited look on Dada's face.

I wanna bring more excitements to your life.... where should we go next.. hmm..

2008-09-10T08:58:00.001+08:00

Woke up super early as we left Melbourne again on our expedition to Wilson's Promontory.

One can never say that they have travelled Australia without exploring the outback.

En route to our destination, which was 5 hours drive away from Melbourne, we passed by large acres of farmland where cattles, sheeps, goats and other livestock graze lazily on. There were mountains and hills of green pastures all around. The stark blue sky created such beautiful contrast to the grass in that picturesque scene and made it resemble that of a beautiful wallpaper graphic.

Literally. "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." Metaphorically, it brings much meaning to the discontentment I have with life now that I am back in S'pore.

Unless you're in a big rush.. or have some weird phobia of driving, you SHOULD rent a car to explore the outbacks. That's the main purpose and contentment I get out of traveling. Not the destination but the process and journey to my destination. And since that little girl forgot to bring her driver's license to Australia, I had to play the role of her chauffeur again. =(

I didn't expect to work so well with her as a team. She made absolutely sure that we were right on track, while i made sure that i kept myself awake. Perhaps it was through this trip that made me realize how perfect she is for me! I was expecting some tension when faced with bad coordination or disagreements during the driving trip. But none of such sort! I can't believe that we didn't even have any arguments about anything! She is my perfect travel companion. Honest!

Finally after 5 hours of non-stop drive, in which almost 1 hour was being stuck at Melbourne's rush hour jam in the morning, we finally reached Wilson's Prom and headed straight to Telegraph Saddle Car Park where our first stop over is at.

I was starving by the time the car came to a halt. And thank goodness for smart me, my grocery bag was loaded with food which i bought from Safeway the day before. Where else in the wilderness can you find food?

Unless you're hoping that a kangeroo will hop by and offer you some of its poo? I almost felt my spin stuck in my seat after long hours of driving, and that sweet girl of mine offered to prepare my sandwich lunch while i munched happily on Doritos..

I look damn 'seah' from driving so much lor..

After a quick bite, we started our 1.5 hours climb up Mt Oberon. And it was constant 45 degrees uphill climb. I was on the verge of giving up while 1/4 way through the top. I am soooo not as athletic as everyone think I am hor...

It was totally grueling, exhausting, arduous, murderous and whatever adjectives that can even describe that horrible horrible climb! Dada probably climbed it with all ease.. but my ankle hadn't recovered ever since the Blue Mountains trip and I swear this was the most difficult walk I've ever taken in my entire life!

I was hoping to see some signs on the summit at every turning. Although at many intervals it was disappointment and there were many thoughts of giving up, I am thankful for having such a patient gf who held my hand, endured all my groaning, stood by me and slowly but steadily conquered the summit together with me.

It was all worth it.. definitely worth it! Accompanied with our tired breaths of accomplishment was a view so spectacular, a million words would never be able to describe how that feeling felt.

From being tightly enclosed by wild bushes, tress and rocks, it opened out to a breathtaking panorama of Wilson's Prom at the summit. At one distance was the tidal river and the great boundless ocean, at another, it was a spectacle of mountain range beneath your feet.

The wind was so strong, it almost felt like a tornado coming towards me. It's hard to imagine but I had to prostrate on the ground in fear of being blown off the cliff! You get the idea.

Through all adversity, that's where I want to stand with you. At the top of the world, just you and me holding on to each other. You made me believe that your love is suffice to overcome all pain and weariness. With you by my side, I know I would never be left behind alone. It was you, who was my sole motivation in completing the treacherous climb, the only reason why i refused to give up, and the only one I can see myself giving my very best for..

After making our way down the mountain, we quickly begun our 'hunt' for what this southernmost peninsula of Australia is famous for.. Wildlife in their most natural habitat..

I love love love the prom.. Because not long later, we stopped at the 'airstrip' and while walking through the bushlands, we felt like we were being watched! While we were worried about snakes or baddies hiding within the grassland, someone else was more worried about this two strangers invading their territory. Walking further inland, we saw little heads popping out from behind the tall grass.

We had friends with us! Kangaroos and Wallabies! Shy but very much hospitable, every movement we made make them look at us in bewilderment.

We spent a short while with these new found friends and left soon after as it was turning dark. As we walked back to where we left our car, they came around again just to bid us farewell..

No wait.. it wasn't yet goodbye! We have yet to find the wombat. They are slow-mo shy creatures that comes out after the sun sets. Keeping a watchful eyes as I drove as slow as i possible could, we finally found this friend.. =) It was not easy spotting it because they blend in so well with their surroundings!

It was time to leave the prom and we head to Yanakie which was about 10 minutes drive away. The place was lovely. It was a little bungalow with full cooking facilities.. which was good! We were starving! I quickly unpacked my picnic bag and cook us a hearty meal for dinner!

ps: i wasn't grumpy.. I just wasn't smiling.. haha.. no la.. was wondering why my meat hasn't thawed fully even when it was left out of the fridge for more than 12 hours! That's how cold the weather was! haha..

The whole experience was fantastic! It really felt like a true outing with the Great Outdoors! Something which a tour bus, a tour guide, a five star hotel and an American-styled Buffet Breakfast will never bring!

2008-09-08T08:34:00.002+08:00

Back in Melbourne where the sun wasn't always smiling, when it rained most of the time and with freezing cold windy conditions. Still, she is one of the loveliest place to be at any one point of time. And that is the reason why the Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU) survey rank it as the best city in the world to live in.

It was Sunday! And I decided to bring baby to St Kilda Beach and Aceland street to do a little sightseeing and shopping thereafter.

The St Kilda Esplanade Art and Craft Market opens only on Sundays. And just like the majority of Australia's shops which closes at 5pm sharp everyday except for thur's (not very) late night shopping in which they close at around 8pm(?), we had to do our shopping at a real fast speed!

Here, everything sold are of original artwork.. Paintings, ceramics, handicraft accessories, printed t-shirts and many more. And the creators are usually the ones that are mending the stalls. Although they may seem a little similar to the 'pasar malam' or 'night bazaars' in Singapore, the difference is the things here are extremely pricely compared to shops you may see in the normal stalls in a mall.

Walking down the Art Market towards the shopping district at Aceland street, we passed by Luna Park, a small themepark in the middle of St Kilda's where most of its patrons are school going kids.

It's super colorful.. very attractive indeed! But no.. we did not have the time to go in to play..

Shopping was on both of our minds.. Wee!!

And of course St Kilda is also well known for these.. Many cake shops like this are situated at Aceland Street..

Some lovely graffiti art in St Kildas.. (There are really many other good ones elsewhere and one really good at Flinders which i will upload next time..)

We walked alot.. and before we know it.. it was almost 5 and starving! So we had a REALLY good beef burger at Grill'd. Super juicy, tender and BIG..

No Neon Lights, No highschool sweethearts, no drive thru, no roller skating, no Goddamn colonels & NO COLOWNS, no free figurines, no dancing, no...

It's kinda obvious what message they are trying to put across..

Soon, sunset was setting in and most of the shops are done with business for the day. We took this time where there was practically nothing much left to do to take a slow and nice stroll down the beach..

It feels so nice and warmy to see aussie kids around. I don't know why I can't feel the same for Asian kids at all. Can I adopt one or something?

Tram 96 brought us back to the city. And that's another reason why I like Melbourne so much. Transportation is convenient, the city is extremely easy to navigate around... and it is the ONLY city in the world (other than Singapore of course) that I can just walk around aimlessly or freely alone, without a map or guide, yet not feeling afraid that I would lose my way.

As we entered the city centre, we made our first stop at the National Gallery of Victoria before walking towards one of Melbourne city prettiest landmark, the Art Centre Spire, which design, as you can see, was very much inspired by the Eiffel Tower and actually, a ballerina's 'tutu'. The Art Centre holds most of the concerts, theatres, and performing arts performance and events in Melbourne.

Melbourne is definitely the design and art hub of Australia.. and the most beautiful and interesting graffiti, art works, design, architectural buildings and other A&D events, in my opinion are all found here.

At abt 200 metres away is where Federation Square is. Located at Fed Square are exhibition halls, art galleries, art museum, and a public space to hold major events. It was kinda cool to witness live telecast of Olympic matches between Australia and other countries being held there. Many can stand there for hours despite the cold weather, cheering together for their people. In the morning, the community make use of the space there to do exercises together. Who says tai chi are only for Chinese? They do that there too!

Just next to Fed Square is St Paul's Cathedral.

As it's chime strike , we sneak in to have a little peek of what is inside this monumental place of worship. It was just as grand inside as it were outside.

As luck would have, they were having a worship service. We respectfully and quietly snapped a few pictures around before making our exit.

A random picture of Flinders train station. I just love the architecture of the station. Compare it to the Tanah Merah MRT station I see everyday when i look out of my window? If only our MRT stations are like that..

While walking from federation square back to Lygon through Swanston Street, introducing dada to the different buildings and my personal favourite hangout in the past, we walked past Melbourne's very own Chinatown.. I suddenly thought of MEEKONG! OMG! Immediately as i turned my head to the left, there it was.. Nicely situated where it always has been, calling out hungrily to me.. 'Come into my mouth.. comeeee..'

Of course we did la! There it was.. my favourite Vietnamese beef noodles..

You should see how happy I was just eating the tender beef loin with silky smooth glass noodles. It's cheap (think it was ard AUD$8), since it is sooo difficult getting a decent meal in Melbourne under AUD$10 (S$13) and I am not even talking about restaurant pricing, i definitely appreciate such good value food!

Filling our tummies to the brim, we continued the next 20 minutes walking all the way to Lygon. And by the time we were at lygon, most of our energy have been used up.. and time to fill the tums up again! Perfect! I immediately brought her to my all time favorite chocolate destination, KoKo Black!

Their best seller.. the Koko Black Hot Chocolate. Super nice...

This is in my opinion the Best Warm Chocolate Souffle in the world (as mentioned in my previous entry)!

Freshly made strawberry jam together with the oozing rich warm chocolate that bleeds from the center of the soft sponge chocolate cake.. The sweet-sourness from the strawberry complements the slightly bittersweet chocolate drizzle perfectly. Nothing but pure enjoyment while eating this fabulous dessert!

It's so nice ending our day with such sweetness.. I think I've blogged to much to end so abruptly here.. but definitely more to come in my next entry..

2008-09-03T08:01:00.005+08:00

Moving out from the city.. we thought it would be more than wonderful experiencing the quietness and tranquility of the great outdoors of New South Wales. And of course, with a tight schedule, we decided to head out to one of world's heritage site, Blue Mountains.

I've heard so much of her. Being part of the Great Diving Range, she is made up of incredible mountain ranges that runs from Victoria to NSW and all the way to Queensland. And although it is named blue 'mountain', it actually isn't really much of a mountain. In fact, it is made up of elevated sandstone plateaus and deep gorges. And according to our locale guide, it was believed that Fraser Island in Queensland was probably created by the massive movement of sandstone travelling through flooded water from blue mountains hundreds of years ago.

The Blue Mountains are named the way they are because of the eucalypts trees that release some sort of vapour or oil or something (??) that creates a mist surrounding the forest. This mist reflect light and thus create a blue aura all around. And so... they look bluish from a distance.

This eucalyptus vapour or oil is also the reason why the forest is susceptible to bush fires. And according to our guide, part of the forest that surround the settlement area are set ablaze by the locals purposely during the winter season. But unlike those in our neighboring country who burn the forest to clear land, these fires are set up to protect them and their livestock. Apparently, when the real big forest fire caused by nature sets in during the hot summer period, the blaze would not go into the living area surrounded by the burnt trees that were already burnt up during winter.

The amazing thing is that the trees have this survival instinct and heal on their own after being burnt. In which, they shed their burnt barks and shoot new sprouts, coming back to life. This really brought a whole new meaning of 'living things' to me. Sometimes I wonder if I even have such a will to live after being almost completely destroyed.

I always thought I am more of a beach and sea person.. But hey.. I guess I've found my love for the greens too! I'm such a lazy person.. i hardly want to move around Singapore if I ain't driving. But these bush walks are so amazing and enriching.. I can probably walk for hours without feeling the least bit of tiredness. I feel like captain planet!

Actually not really true.. because halfway through the bushwalk, I twisted a ligament or something and was hurting damn badly. The uneven terrains and having to wiggle through the trees, streams and narrow openings made the 'walk' almost draining for that limping leg of mine. It didn't make things better when my ears started to hurt like mad from the intense pressure and coldness in the mountains. But i grit my teeth and made it through the 3 hours walk and out of the forest.

Also on Blue mountains was EchoPoint... the most popular lookout..

It's kinda weird seeing yourself on top of the forest when just a moment ago you were right within it. Beautiful...

And there you have the pretty three sisters..

Beneath that smile was my teeth chattering away! Although it was probably 10 celsius, it felt pretty much like 2 or 3 degrees.. Don't be fooled by the sunshine! I am super act 'zai' ok.. bui ta han..

And another 3 sisters.. the naked three aboriginal sisters playing some sorta a game..

Ey.. I wanna play too! The wind was so cold, Dada had to go into the sheltered area to take refuge.. while I.. ran out and away from her into the freezing cold just to have all the three sisters by myself!

We headed to Katoomba where Scenic World is at..

In which, we started our 2km (abt 45mins) walking descend into the forest down the Furber Steps. We took a nice slow stroll down while appreciating the lush canopy, overhanging rock formations and beautiful waterfall..

The greenery.. the wilderness.. somehow gave me a sense of peacefulness.. being in such an environment brings on sheer relaxation..

I mean.. being a city dweller for all my life, nature doesn't come naturally to me. And these opportunities are something I never take for granted. I've never walked through these trails with any of my 5 senses closed. In fact, I love extending my knowledge beyond this real life geography class as well as a life enriching experience even if this may be the hundredth time walking through this sort of God's wonders..

Once at the bottom which is the base of Scenic Railway. There, we took the world's steepest incline railway.

The experience was amazing! And silly dada gave out shrieks of ~~frightfulness~~ excitedness! haha.. Bryan wanted to do the ride over again. But it isn't cheap leh. It cost us AUD$10 (S$13) per person for a single way ticket.

It was defnitely FUN! Especially so when we 'CHIONG' for the front seat to get a more intensified excitement without any blockage infront of us. And i shall end with the video of us on the World's Steepest Inclined Railway. Replaying this video always makes me smile and then laugh at baby's silliness.. She's so gonna kill me for uploading this.. =)

"Did you buy insurance?"
...
...
"Oh my goodness.."

hahahahaha...

2008-09-02T07:18:00.004+08:00

Phew... Schedule has been jamed packed ever since I came back. Haven't got the time to blog properly but yet, hasn't got me stopping from missing the earth's smallest continent.

I love travelling.. and I can't stop moving for long. And with that.. we're already in discussion with ky and sl over dinner just a few days back on another travel proposition to Hongkong which would probably be next year.. since I've went seriously way off budget for this aussie trip.

I've always wanted to go to Sydney. The magnificent metropolis. The bustling city with towering buildings so tall and mighty, you can almost feel the immense pressure standing under their shadows.

It was warm and nice as we came from a freezing and unpredictable Melbourne. Loved the comfortable weather and the bright and sunny sunshine in Sydney. The company was good too as we had Bryan and Joachim joining us for this trip around this beautiful cosmopolitan city.

I'm not sure when I caught the travel bug.. it probably should be decades ago.. but I am definitely sure that it is a highly contagious passion that have been infected on to dada. And of course, I do hope that she'll stay on with me in this globe-trotting expedition of mine till the day I'm left bedridden holding onto my last breath..

Sydney is made up of a very unique fuse of grand victorian architectural beside arts of modern steel structures.. Yet, nothing ever seem out of place..

Beginning from the heart of Sydney.. walking down from Town Hall through George Street which is within midtown commercial, Sydney's Central Business district.. we finally reached our destination, Circular Quay, where the notably famous 'most beautiful natural habour in the world' is.

No doubt.. the habour was lovely. She didn't allow it's commercial functionality of a transport and recreation centre take away her beautiful sparkling waterfront which is traversed by the monumental Sydney Habour Bridge and further prettified with the alluring charm of the Sydney Opera House. Cameras please.. 'click.. click..'

Love the 'natural' shots of me when I ain't posing for the cam. The interesting thing is.. that most of these pics are taken by Joachim! He must be in love with me or something! Haha.. right.. kidding la..

I guess it is when you are really in love with a specific place that you will tend to take more pictures of it? The following are the result of which.. The pics would definitely tell a better story than me narrating the experiences one by one..

I have always thought that the shell of the Opera House was smooth and just a patternless white! Going up close.. I was wrong..

Joachim wanted to take a photo of me and Dada with this 'friend'-ship.. CANNOT la.. i very pan-tang (superstitious) one la.. But then again.. it's kinda interesting how they decide the name of the 'ship'...

One of my favourite pictures I snapped in Sydney.. Conversation between Dada and Joachim.

We're all in for 'natural looking' pictures.

Continuing our journey along the coastline, we found ourselves at 'The Rocks'. Interestingly, this tough named fella here was reputed as a slum and a favorite destination for sailors and prostitutes during the earliest settlement times..

It's no longer of such bad character now.. Instead, while turning our backs, we were presented with the 'world's most recognized skyline' and all the greatness this amazing city contained.

And of course, we found more interesting items over here too.. A monk in winter?

Provocative messages hung on the Museum of Contemporary Art. Especially so since the country are dominated by the whites..

That is also what I like about the Aussies. Racism is to the minimum (compared to the many caucasians around the world), they are pretty much impartial in their thinking, they even have a day to commemorate the aboriginals (which were the first settlers in australia before British colonization), and they're pretty much about freedom and equality. I wouldn't even dare speak anything in comparison with my country here in fear of getting into trouble with the 'gar men'.

Sun setting, it was time for somewhere with good, nice, warm dinner..

I don't know how they do what they do.. but panckaes, crepes or waffles in whichever state in Australia taste just fabulously good! But for Sydney, this was exceptionally the best.

It gets dark really fast in winter.. and by 6ish, it looks as good as 11 at night. Then again, this is also the time where we got a very different view of Sydney.

It was getting quite chilly by the night.. and so we headed down to Max Brenner's for a good dose of chocolates to warm ourselves up and for more of those endorphins (not that they were necessary since we were satisfyingly pumped up with loads of that already.)

And we finally got to eat our warm chocolate souffle since we never ever get to eat that in Singapore's Max Brenner's ever although it's picture is hung up high on her wall. Boy it was the.. 2nd best I've ever eaten! (Comparing it to my all time favourite Melbourne's Koko Black version which i will upload soon in my next entry) But it was good! They shouldn't have stopped that on Singapore's Menu!! Stupid people!

Done with the smiles, we're off to Darling Harbour, Sydney's nightlife and entertainment precinct.

The must take Starbucks Photo on every trip. An especially MUST this time since starbucks probably would be a legend soon with 61 of their 84 locations in Australia being axed off after 600 stores in the US have died.

With that.. we ended our first day in Sydney.. Tired after walking around at a fast speed the entire day..

2008-08-30T13:26:00.006+08:00

Yes I am back. After 3 weeks of a great break, I am back.

Somehow, I am living in a sorta denial..

that spring has turned the frozen weather, that next stop on the train tracks lies melbourne central station, that the best way to reach my destination is to walk, that the animals roaming the streets are the little possums in the park, that i refuse to restrain that tinge of accent left on my tongue.

It was almost totally foreign to me while I was chatting with a shopkeeper while getting a gift for a friend. She asked me how did i feel that Singapore won it's first Olympic medal in years?

I looked blankly at her. Rewinding all memories of the Beijing Olympics, I remembered Steven Hooker clinching the first male track and field gold medal after 40 years of Australia's olympics history, I remembered seeing Stephanie Rice punching her hands up high from within the pool in sheer victory, I remembered the anxious Matthew Mitcham nervously doing his dive while standing between his chinese competitors and beating them flat to Gold. I remembered feeling overwhelmed with emotions watching their victorious moments on national tv. I remembered how proud i was when i purchased a green and yellow aussie olympic jersey for nuggets at the pet warehouse. But no.. the names of the Singapore medalist rang not a bell in my head.

They are australians who cried tears of joy as they proudly brought forward their country to gold. We cry tears of humiliation because we tax payers are stuffing big money into foreigners for the sake of black glory.

I looked at Dada. She ran her fingers to my arm and gently gave me a slight pinch. I'm in Singapore.

"Sweet or Spicy!?" "One dollar!" The familiarity of that hostility..I chuckled to myself. I'm definitely in Singapore.

For everything I miss.. and love..

I imagine.. walking down Swanston Street.. again.. again.. and again.. =)

2008-07-31T11:11:00.005+08:00

I was randomly blog hopping when I saw this article in Joanne's Blog..

Blog article

Past, Present, Future.. If everything were to keep changing, and if love fails to be constant, what remains at the end of life? Probably just emptiness..

So many things i missed in the past.. and i wish that it can all come back..

And when you look back, hoping you can catch everything back before it's gone, it's gone for good.

IMD soccer babes..

TP Design - Class of 2005

BDCD in Melbourne

Moments in time may only standstill in memories..

The best of which will remain living in our hearts.. Till our final breath.

And when that day arrives, I want you to know that i love u..

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, it makes true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

2008-07-28T10:09:00.004+08:00

Finally.. the wait is over.. 13 more days and I'll be back in Melbourne once again. And I am getting a headache of where to bring Dada when we're there. So little time but so many places to go. And sadly, I'll probably have to give Mt Dandenong and Mt Buller a skip. One for the best scones and beef pies I've ever eaten in my entire life, the other for a good load time of snow skiing. But then.. we're going Sydney to make up for the lost!! Oh oh.. and Wilson's Prom is in my plan too! Something to anticipate.. =)

I miss my sister so darn much!

While i can go crazy being excited over our next holiday, I'll blog about something else first.. Hmm.. like recently, Cows celebrated her bday at 1 twentysix @ playground.

A nice place to chill out.. especially when there seem quite a shortage of chill out places in Singapore. And the best thing is that it is located in the east! =) We need more of such stuff.

Sorry ah.. it's just us.. we love to camwhore..

Saphy and I.. Ha.. a 'uniform party'.. :P

And it ends abruptly here.. hahaha

2008-07-23T23:45:00.001+08:00

I've got an issue when a friend recently made a passing remark in which she said that 'sometimes you can be quite fake.'

Hey, not all humans can get along with every human right? I'm no saint. We're all bounded by circumstances. Like what if the person whose attitude or character you cannot get along with happens to be your sister's husband? your best friend's boyfriend? your lover's best friend? or a colleague you have to directly work with 6 days a week?

Do you think we're living in high school days where we can get away with saying 'if she goes then i am not going!'?

Why put your longstanding relationship with the mutual party at stake?

It's not like I go all out to act as if I like you when i don't. I'll probably make the situation neutral, temporarily put behind all grudges, and make everybody feel at ease by being all smiley and chattery what. I'll behave in the way the situation expects me to behave. If not expect me to be grumpy and everything meh? hello?

Dislike is just a feeling due to a certain perception of another person. As long as I feel that there is no malice involved or sort to anybody, my conscience is clear and this form of 'fakeness' is acceptable. As for the internal feelings towards that person, leaving it in my heart would be a less destructive option right?

Of course, insignificant people who are unrelated to me in anyway would probably be deemed invisible for the rest of their lives. Either or, is there a need to be so blatant about your feelings towards everybody in the world? Not that it will make it a better place. Yes, you may live for yourself, but you yourself is made up of many other elements, not just your heartbeat.

And yet but again, we're all becoming plastics in this hypocritical world. Who dares claim otherwise?

well just.. food for thought.

2008-07-22T00:52:00.002+08:00

Recently, I've been hearing from some of my friends saying that they'd be heading to Taiwan soon. One advice I can give. Please don't. For that price, trust me, I'd rather you go Bangkok/Hongkong and shop till you drop, or add a bit more $$ to go Aussie, Japan or Korea. Really.

And I've also realized that I haven't blogged more about Taiwan although I promised to 1 1/2 years ago. Ok i forgot. But then again.. there's nothing really much nice about Taiwan to blog. In fact, I've almost forgotten details about the trip already.

Visiting taiwan to me was almost like a horror story.

I'm not dead, I'm still alive. Although I almost died of boredom during the trip

If you go to Taiwan. You should either 1) Learn Japanese. 2) Learn Korean. Or the simple way to go, wear a tag on your head that reads "I AM SINGAPOREAN". Just don't get mistaken for being a China chinese.

The taiwanese are actually very friendly people. Just don't let those chair throwing taiwanese politician you see on the news spoil your impression of them. Perhaps I'm a little turned off with their cutesy way of talking. *shrugs*

Taipei 101

Shopping in Taiwan is alright. But I'm 100% certain we can get much better buys in Singapore. And our fashion range is much wider. Theirs too cina already. Maybe I'm bias. Maybe I expected too much after hearing all the hoo ha about Taiwan. But oh well. Failed. Deh..

Seraphina and I.. I don't really know her well cos I only met her in Taiwan. She's 19? Erm.. air stewardess? probably that all I know about her. That explains my shy smile. AND I CAN BE SHY ONE OK!

Food offered, needless to say, far by one of the least varieties available in asia. Smelly toufu. What? Smelly toufu. What? Smelly toufu.

Sightseeing wise.

Honestly, nothing fantastic. The best probably stops at here.

This is supposedly Taiwan's version of Sakura. Small and pathetic. It reminds me more of china's plum blossoms though.

A mountain nothing compared to China's grandeur.

Wait a minute.. what's with the comparison with China.. *shrugs again.

Anyway.. these are Singaporean kids. Cute right?

But not as cute as me! hahaha...

I never was a fan of anything Taiwan. Not the very untalented boy/girl bands or singers there, those mandarin pop songs from taiwan (or actually anywhere else in the world) are soppy, stupid and under-produced, the boring tv drama serials (not including some variety shows), Nothing about the political scene (in fact I'm definitely NOT pro ONE-China.), nothing about anything else prior to going to Taiwan. Ya.. I'm biased. Whatever.

Goodness.. I don't know what to write about Taiwan already. Because the trip is soooooo (un)interesting. Anyway, if you guys are insistent of going.. ermm.. Good luck then! =)

2008-07-16T08:06:00.000+08:00

I was reading some blog in which, this blogger mentioned something that made very much sense. In which, "there will always be many layers of friends, and we cannot expect everyone to be at the highest level, because there will always be selfish people in this world."

23 years of my life. Seriously, I've met a lot of people within. Made really good friends, best friends i thought will last me a lifetime, soul mates, cliques.. many to mention. Some stay, some betray, some move on quietly then disappear suddenly. Friends come and go, and this has become increasingly apparently as I grow older. The greatest people in your life will stay and is treasured. It doesn't have to be everybody, but a couple of whom you can spend the entire day sitting down at a cafe just having a cuppa kopi.

Expectations always comes together with disappointment. So why not balance out its relativity so that you'll be happier right?

Jun darling, you've heard me? And hey.. I can't wait for your return! I'm so missing you la!! Until I had to take out these pictures.. (just ignore whatever you don't wish to see..) =)

One down but you still have many others, especially ME!

Good memories are always the most beautiful part of life..

Kukup - April 2005..

I wouldn't be there if without my Jun darling. And I wouldn't have had so many nice memories without you too.. I appreciate and treasure you as my friend.. There are many others who appreciate you too.. Just keep the good ones. *wink*

2008-07-14T10:20:00.011+08:00

This entry to dedicated to how much i miss Melbourne..

It's been almost 2 years.. The fun, the joy, all the happiness collected...

The must take narcissistic shot outside starbucks..

St Kildas..

We play hard.. we work harder..

Sometimes we mix work with play.. =P

And for the lecturer that we once dislike so much for her boring lectures/tutorial/whatever..

Susan.. But we've never did skip any of her classes before..

We grew to like this affectionate grandma so much.. I kinda miss her quite a bit.. =(

At Sue's house where we were invited to have a feast with loads and loads of booze..

See no evil, speak no evil.. hear no evil..

And then to her farm which was out of Melbourne..

Those were the days..

And I miss my Meekong Beef Noodles in Chinatown..

And all the fun we had..

Will I be able to go back to Melbourne again this August? Something to anticipate again..

2008-07-08T10:46:00.005+08:00

I'm back! ermm that angsty and emo fella you saw wasn't me.. Wasn't! =P

And it's only on such occasions that I feel so loved by everybody! I'm an attention whore i admit! Haa.. k la.. thank you all la! Very touched la.. Must pen out my thank you speech or not.. =)

Still.. restoration in progress.. and we'll have to watch and anticipate what will happen in future again. (TOUCH WOOD!)

I'm such an annoying typical girl that it is almost so easy to make me happy with..

THIS!

and i just stereotyped myself! Grr..

k la.. i was touched by her sincerity.. since she appeared in the middle of the night at my doorstep with all her barang barang to spend the night with me. And for the past few days, she never once throw her temper although I did (secretly) try to make her angry. Also, she has made it a point to pick up all my calls and smses and not go MIA. Of course she gives in to all of my demands! Muahaha..

So now i am happy! because I am the princess!! Muahaha..

Randomness to show that I am happy..

Surrender or DIE..

Woofffff!

*Silence* Muahahaha..

This was quite a way back in June when I decided to cook some mussels for her..

Me and Rouge.. Fierce..

Roche went missing.. =(

I know this is a little too late.. but if anyone here happens to see him, please contact me k?

Nuggets on the hunt for his barking competitor. He took my car out for the massive dog hunt.

This was even way back..

k.. we need more (good) events to take place soon alright.. And enough of dramas..

2008-06-19T00:02:00.008+08:00

Beware: This is gonna be extremely LONG..

We just came back from our ~~3D2N~~ 4D3N getaway at Bintan! We extended our stay obviously because Bintan was absolutely fantastic! We decided that we couldn't bear to go back to Singapore just a mere 6 hours before we were supposed to board the ferry. So we threw in an additional day.

3 hours from Singapore took us to a cosy little resort situated on a private beach. 12 rustic bungalows by the sea brought a piece of what seemed almost paradise a little closer to us. Tucked away deep in the countryside of Northeast Bintan, our journey to Yasin proved much nostalgic familiarity as we travelled past tons of Mama shops, car repair shops, tailors and etc.. It's just a little resemblance to my old residence at East Coast probably 15-20 years ago?

Yasin was beautiful. Her rural idyll put in place an almost perfect setting for the mind to run away to the call of the waves, the soul to harmonize with the scent of tranquility, the heart to sing with all the colors of the wind.

We were in for a pleasant surprise as we made our humble arrival at Yasin. To receive us were a bunch of welcoming staff and a little puppy we named brownie.

Brownie is, I should say, the most wonderful companion (other than of course my beloved velda and erm... well nuggets sometimes..) anyone can ever have. We only stop short of bringing her back home because, of course, she's a stray.

It was kinda an impromptu trip because I only made my confirmation payment for the booking 4 days before we arrived. We took the double Water Wooden Bungalow which was situated on stilts by the beach overlooking the boundless sea.

Although it was back to the basics, Yasin proved to be very pleasant, homely and cozy. Honestly, I've never felt more comfortable staying at Yasin, even comparing it to 5 stars such as Shangri-La, Fullerton, or even MGM Vegas.

You know how much a time we all wish we could simplify life a little?

A little Survivor-style experience for us city dwellers though, as we had to fight off an army of mosquitoes (thank God I came prepared with insect repellant and coils), bathe with freezing cold water, and live without the tv and air-conditioning. (not that the absence of these two bother me much in the first place) The sea breeze provided the 24 hours air-condition since the wind came from all over the room, even through the little gaps beneath the wooden flooring.

We went almost speechless when we stepped out into the balcony that extends out to the sea. And whether is it during the high or low tide, the scenery was spectacular... totally breathtaking. Absolutely nothing can erase that picturesque scene off my mind.

The Sea, Sky, She, Me.. Perfect.

If two words were needed to describe Trikora Beach, peacefulness and serene.

It'd probably be the most ideal place to skinny dip.. There was almost no sign of living things on the private beach except for perhaps little crabs peeking out of their sand hole.

That's brownie's daddy..

And of course.. that's little brownie with mayonnaise on her nose.. Did i mentioned that she's super gluttony and very playful? She is also very independent for her age.. She'll disappear to somewhere to play, get herself all sandy, and miraculously appear when it's meal time. Every morning, she'll give her wake up ~~call~~ bark. Looking out from our room balcony onto the beach (during low tides in the morning), she will be hopping up and down, wagging her tail, smiling at me as I call out to her. It's really very awwww-ing when she does that.

Walking much further down the beach, we pass by a house of one of the locals.

A little boy together with a woman (probably his mother) and a dog was sitting at the balcony of their wooden house just looking out towards the sea. I turned to snap a picture of them, and instead of feeling bewildered or angry at the trespassing stranger, they smiled and waved at me. Soooooo heartwarming la. I don't usually wave at strangers.. and this is probably the first time I've ever done so waving back.

That is probably what most of us want after decades of life working. To retire and spend the rest of your life by the sea/countryside/farm just doing nothing all day, watching the clouds pass by, rearing little animals/pets, appreciating the beauty of nature with your loved one next to you...

Somehow I wonder, why do we spend our entire lifetime working so hard for the lifestyle they have when these people do not need to go through the phrase we go through just to fulfil what we seek in the future.

I remembered once, seeing a probably senile old man with two private nurses, and two men, all in uniform, escorting him on a wheelchair with his saliva all over him, drooling non-stop at Mount Faber. He probably must be a rich man or something. All the money in the world can never stop death.. or being a redundant in the society.. or looking back to realize that the most perfect thing in the world may just be the simplest thing we missed out on.

It's amazing how happiness can come in so many perspective.

This was almost like a meditative retreat or something.. Like how we always take so many things for granted. And even as we pray every night, it is always about "God, please help me to bla bla bla, God please give me bla bla bla.." The creator has already given us everything... just look.. He probably forgot to give us a heart of contentment.

I'm not a Buddhist, but I actually do like one teaching of Buddha.. Correct me if I am wrong but it goes something like - we came into this world with nothing, and we leave this world with nothing...

As we lay down by the beach to marvel at God's grace, a rainbow formed in the sky. Almost to highlight the impeccable beauty that came together with it.

Somehow, this familiar tune.. sounded in my head..

I see skies of blue..... clouds of white
Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.

The colours of the rainbow.. so pretty in the sky..

la la.. la la la

Back to the resort where it is high tide..

I just realized that I have been typing so much.. I'll probably leave the pictures and captions to do most of the talking now..

Sunset..

We paid S$26 just to hire a car ride to town. It wasn't that expensive as we had two 'bodyguards' tagging along with us everywhere we went. We were so uneasy that I had to tell them to stay away and wait for us at a certain spot while we did our shopping. Shopping was bad.. Honestly, fashion there is probably 20 years behind Singapore. And the most branded items there was Bata and Filas. That's it.

The bodyguards took us to this place to eat. It was filthy roadside makeshift food stalls by the side of the road. But the food was.. Bagusss.. Sedap.. ooo la la.. =)

Ahh.. talking about Malay. One BIG regret i should i done before going to Bintan. Was to brush up my malay!

Like our national language is Malay and yet all i can grasp of it are simple worded vocab like Makan, Udang, Enjing, and the only phrase i know.. Selamat Hari Raya... ermm.. ?

One hour to town, and one hour back.. by the time we got back.. it was almost midnight!

When we lifted our heads into the sky, Holey Moley.. It was a such a beautiful sight. A blanket full of twinkling stars. It was so dark, the horizon disappeared.. And for a moment, it felt like we were part of the milky way.

And then.. it was time to sleep.. Awww...

One of the best moments at Yasin was sunrise..

We would wake up at 5 in the morning, just to watch the sunrise.. then go back to sleep when the red egg pops out.

I'm more of a sunset person. But for once, I actually thought that sunrise was just as beautiful!

It is incredible how low the tide can go.. The water cleared to revealed a massive area of sand.

This is the time where we are able to walk on land all the way to the island 500-600 mentres away. And that cute little fella will join us everyday in our walk to the island.

You cannot imagine how obedient she is! Even more than Nuggets with a leash la! She ran along by our feet as we make our way across the seabed, heeled with we stop. Even when we pause while trying to make our way across large pools of water, she'll hop across together with us even when she's so tiny and the depth of water is scarily neck high for her. Nuggets would probably just stand there and whine. Brownie stuck by us like there was an invisible 10 cm long leash.

Aww.. she's soooo pretty!

I love the way she tries to dig at every crab hole just to find little crabs to play catching with. The way she runs immediately up to you every single time you call her given name. The way she looks up to you with her sad innocent eyes when you pause to look down at her.

There was once it rained, and the water was rising fast. we were desperately running back to the shore together. My slippers dropped off and sank into one of the crab holes. Instead of continue running towards the shore, she stopped, ran backwards and waited for me while i tried to retrieve my slippers.

She'll never get irritated with what you do to her. Even if it means carrying her in all sorts of ways, playing with her ears, her tail, swing her arms, and stepping accidentally on her paws. Oops.

Boy I really miss her..

We wanted to go snorkeling on the 2nd day. But the weather wasn't on our side. Thankfully, on the extended 3rd day, God cleared the skies and made sunshine smile for the clear blue seas.

The boat ride was.. damn classic.

It was almost like a ride taken out of Hollywood's Indiana Jones. It was no stimulator ride or safety belts. The boat was flying and literally jumping on the waves of the super choppy deep sea. No joke. Baby screamed, I was bitting on my teeth, praying for my dear life. That picture was taken before the propeller started moving, and also the last picture taken till the boat came to a halt.

The probably 1/2 hour ride seemed like forever. The boat slowed down and there we were, at our destination. It was just Dada and I, and another two 'bodyguards cum tourguides cum instructors.' in the middle of the sea. One of the guys lowered the anchor, the other prepared the ladder for us to ~~get off~~ jump off the boat.

The water was honestly not as clear as Phuket's. But of course anytime much better than Singapore's horrible one.

Don't ask me why I aint in proper swimwear or my usual bikini this time. The secludedness of the island is enough to sent warning signals to my wildest imagination of possibly being raped and killed without even having the chance to appear on the headlines of the local newspaper.

The corals were in their most natural habitat. More variations than Phuket though. And again, the poor camera quality due to being in the aquapac do not justify the beautiness of the corals at all.

And I FOUND NEMO!!!! I was so excited, I ripped away my life jacket and to Dada's ~~surprise~~ horror, I dived down heading for the anemone so that I could catch little nemo to bring it up for Dada. Not even worrying about the sea urchin that stretched it's spikes dangerously at me.

But it was also to my excitement that I over exerted my back while plunging down to the seabed that i injured my back. For a moment it seemed like the scariest time of my life. It felt as if I was totally paralyzed while floating on the surface of the water.

Thank goodness i got back into my fins quite soon after resting while floating for a bit on the water.

As we headed for another Indiana Jones ride back, the sunset brought in the best curtain call for our very fruitful getaway...

And I'm so looking forward to our next getaway soon..

2008-06-02T07:55:00.000+08:00

Although i am head over heels in LOVE with Ellen Degeneres.. this is so not going to turn into a fan site....

i hope.. =X

Well..quite some time ago... she was, as usual, finding stuff to crack about on her talkshow. One of the best infomercials (and probably one of her favorite since she could not stop talking about it for many weeks! she even bought and shipped 300 of it as gifts to her audiences and guests) to leave you rolling in stitches.. The tiddy bear..

I wouldn't even mind being reincarnated into one of the tiddy bears.. Look where they usually find their heads squished into? Hahaha..

Recently, that sweet girl of mine decided that she wanted to get me one of those since I've always been talking about those tiddy bears.. And if not wrong, they're being sold in Azerbaijan. Like hello.. WHERE the fuck is that on the map even?

Nevermind.. because that little one of mine decided that she could creatively improvise from whatever that can get her hands onto.

This is the TidDA bear..

Which.. she creatively sewed velcro onto the hands of the bear.. and it works just the same way as the Tiddy Bear..

Only Difference being that the tiddy bear is more perverted.. while the TidDa bear gets to breath when at work. =)

It isnt exactly easy sewing velcro without a machine.. and I'm sure Dada pricked herself a million times or something..

Such sweetness..

Sweeter than any of the chocolates/desserts at Max Brener's..

Love her to bits! =)

2008-05-29T23:47:00.002+08:00

There is so nothing interesting going on in my life now except loads of stories of friends getting hitched up, married... OH! And Ellen and Portia are getting married!!

Fine.. i know that that's no longer news by now but.. I've probably watched the announcement a million times and feel that initial sense of happiness that overwhelmed my whole spinal cord. Ahh.. i don't what I am talking about. Anyway... YAY!

Then while going through almost all of Ellen's youtube videos (Boy am I such a gross fanatic), I came across this really disturbing picture.

Though i was quite a religious christian at one point of my life, I always remembered a song i learnt when i was little. It goes something like this..

Jesus loves me this I know,

for the bible tells me so..

Little ones to him belong,

they are weak but he is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me.. (x3)

For the bible tells me so

Jesus loves me still today,

walking with me on my way.

Wanting as a friend to give,

Light and love to ALL who live.

Whatever the religion, whichever God(s), whatever teachings.. aren't they supposed to spread and bring the word of LOVE? Since when did hate and anger came into the picture? If being gay means that it is socially unaccepted and morally wrong, fine, there will always be a disagreement somewhere. But to hate? What difference is it between a disoriented terrorist and a God fearing Homophobic then?

Oh well..

Back to the topic that nothing interesting is going on in my life now..

So while being bored, we camwhore and make ourselves all silly and happy..

All tongues out!

Then.. on sarah's recommendation, we finally got something exciting to do in the comfort of our own home.. within less than half an hour! Something that made nuggets jump up and down.. but no rewards for his effort..

Sinful, poisonous Chocolate.. Betty Crocker's Warm Delights Molten Chocolate cake..

The process.. Ripping the package inside, add water, squeeze the fudge into the batter..

Shove it into the oven.. for a minute and a half..

patiently wait..

And there you go.. warm chocolate molten cake with a dash of vanilla ice-cream on top of it.

Honesty, the process is in a way entertaining for the bored but lazy people. Taste wise.. um.. i'd probably rather snack on timtam chocolate biscuits anytime. But ya.. it was a little less tha alright..

If not, I'd probably end up doing really random things like play pretending.. Like u know.. pretend..

But of course, we look forward to the weekends where we can spend some really nice time together. Like the weekly outing with nuggets to somewhere to play.....

Peek-a-boo..

Nuggets just got a new hobby.. he's picking up modeling..

There are so many things we wanna do when we get to spend that limited time we have with each other everyday. Time passes so quickly, sometimes too fast to even catch a moment to look into each others eyes just to appreciate the beauty within, too fast to tell you how much I feel for you. I love it when we spend a few minutes reminiscing the past, how we got to know each other, our first date, our first kiss, and the every first that we ever had..

It may not be the first time I've said this.. but perhaps in quite a long time..

I love you..

and it still tingles me inside like the first time I said that to you..

2008-05-20T13:06:00.013+08:00

Sometimes I wonder.. how really does love works?

Gatherings and reunions that usually hold topics such as studies and work have gradually shift to issues like marriage, family and the properties. For some, love exist only when borne fruit, and when it flourishes into the branches of the conventional family tree. These heartwarming happy-ever-after TV drama real life series definitely makes most brown eyes green.

Then there are the commitmentphobics. That love is a trap in an enclosure of towering walls, in which there is only a sky above too high to reach, and a world that only exist within the cold hard bricks. Love is a feeling to give, but not one to take the emotional baggage that comes along with it.

How about one in a long-standing relationship whereby displays of affection and intimacy seem distantly in the past and life with the other half seems so stale and boring?

I was watching the featured film, Angel (by Francois Ozon) at Cinema Europa with Dada yesterday.. It is about a girl, who writes excellent stories of fantasy through her gift of good imaginary, wrote her way to become one of the most famous author of her time. With so much of good imagination within her, she creates her own realities and believe only what she believes her life and the world around her is how she perceive them to be. She dies, but not without living her life of dream. Her dream of fame and wealth, and her fantasies of love and life.

Perhaps, the only way love.. and life can exist, is only when you believe how it should exist.

Denial or so it may be. Ultimately who's to say how sad it is to have led life in such, when death only concludes the state of happiness you've felt in your heart when you were living.

If love, is lying in bed all day long watching television with that special someone you are willing to share the rest of your life with and knowing that in your heart you are happy, that is love working wonders - made exclusive.

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This is very random and have nothing to do with the above article.

I stole this from Khoo's facebook..

Fiona TFF. Cheryl. Khoo.Erica

It's nothing about Felicia Chin or anything interesting abt the photo. It's just... to see four people i know at different times and at EXTREMELY different instances of my life all in the same photograph together.. feels.. weird..

Not that I was ever close to any of them.. except prolly Fiona TFF (for a little while)...

Technically, there's nothing weird or wrong.. And it is too common to see everyone knowing everyone just by looking at the links of social networking sites..

Somehow, I just suddenly feel very disconnected from the world, and of being a social being.. Perhaps only I can understand the emotive side of this entry.

... just disconnected..

2008-05-05T22:33:00.004+08:00

Was sick today. Went to the docs but the doc refused to give me the medicine i want. Instead, gave me one stupid pill that made me sleep and feel super weak all over. Damn..

Yes.. I am officially 23 last friday! It's kinda scary for not accomplishing much achievements despite how much I should at that age.

The day started with a more than wonderful morning. =) And it is only on your birthday that you realize how fortunate you are with all the people around you who cares.

Friends close to you, or friends you haven't heard from in years. Honestly, at this age where everyone is busy climbing the corporate ladder, who would even bother about you. For once, I was proven wrong.. VERY wrong. I feel a tad guilty though, especially so when I don't usually remember most of my friends' birthday or even wish them.

I feel so bad lah.. And so my resolution after my birthday is to make it a point to remember birthdays!

Nevertheless... Thank you guys so much for remembering!!! And with all the wishes, I never felt happier. Esp my Mum for celebrating and getting a cake for me! My dearest family and relatives who came with angbaos and presents!

For the lovely 'sunshine' who made my breakfast tastier, my morning warmer than ever, and for putting the widest smile on my face. Jun and Nic for making overseas calls! Sarah who entertained me throughout the day! Cows and Alice for making me cry on my birthday thanks to how nice they can be at times! JH and gang / Terrence and gang for wanting to help me celebrate my special day but i apologetically turned down. Dada for the nice gift.

And for the so many smses and calls by all of you out there showering me with so much love..

Very much appreciated!

Although my birthday wish did not come true this year, there's always the next to look forward to. And at this age, it should be time for me to learn how to be contented with the simplest things in life and what it may give me. In which, contentment means less expectations on myself and on others.

2008-04-29T01:12:00.001+08:00

OMG... I realized that i haven't been blogging so much that my pictures are dated all the way back to March! Then after looking through so many pictures, i also realized that my life is so boring and random! Shall just talk about the random few..

It's almost like a routine.. bringing nuggets to the farm and the beach almost every weekend until the only place i think he knows exist in the world is my house, my car, the vet, the farm and the beach. How small the little world is for him.

So when there was a chance at bringing him a little further than the east (minus the time spent at the hospital in Balestier), I quickly jumped on it. The Annual Class 95 Dog Walk.

Nuggets was going for the walk.. while I, the typical Kiasu Singaporean, was definitely going for the freebies.. Muahahaha.. So even if it means waking up at 6.30am, getting frustrated at not being able to get a carpark for more than half an hour, and walking 2km while wasting my saliva complaining half the journey, I guess it was still worth it.

Of course, while battling for a carpark lot, i told Dada to quickly go down and queue for the registration at the Dog Run Area first while i continue my search. Thankfully we did, as there were so many many many people (and dogs). I almost got into punches with a gay couple with their stupid chi hua hua over a carpark lot, and that obviously put me in a very very very bad mood.

But when i arrived at the dog run area, seeing hundreds of happy dogs as well as little nuggets sticking his ever so cute little tongue out, wagging his little tail while looking at me, my heart melted!

It is amazing how these dogs can put a smile to my face so easily. Simply looking at one whole bunch of happy dogs is so so so therapeutic! And that kept me smiling even when I was complaining about the gay couple and the chi hua hua to Dada.

I like this photo alot.

And.. the Jack Russell who thought he was superman..

Then again, nuggets is always in love with big dogs. I have no idea why.. All the small dogs are crazy over him, dying to (like the superman above) get a chance at his backside.

We got an umbrella, towel, loads and loads of food samples, and nuggets favorite of them all - vouchers for dog bakery. That's his favorite lamb pie he's eating.

I don't like lamb though.. in fact, i hate hate hate lamb.. I love beef! I love beef so much that if all the cows in the world were to die of mad cow disease one day, I'll die along with them.

And the bestest cow available in Singapore is.. (ahem.. not the one that stays at J.P Kikis) but the one that is served all the way on the 70th storey of Swissotel The Stamford.

There you go.. the best beef tenderloin steak and foie gras in Singapore. It is so tender and juicy, i don't even know how to describe it any way better than it deserves.

Accompanied with a magnificent view..

My most beloved Mummy and I Love love love her to bits!

What's next.. hmm.. random number 3..

Nuggets again! Just need to know the 3 fantastic loves of my life. Mummy, Dada, and Nuggets.

Poor boy.. if you can read what time it was when we were happily cam-whoring with him.. And the poor boy was yawning away! That explains the grumpy look on his face..

Alamak.. This is so cute la.. Spongebob and nuggets!

I wanted to end then entry with sponge bob and nuggets.. But decided to add a couple of photographs more just to be mean. Bcos that little girl of mine, Ms Dada Yoong, have been chided by don't know how many of our friends for always relating them to "My" friends and not regarding them as her own friends too just because they were initially my friends who she was introduced to after she became my girlfriend.

The incident happened again when we were out with Ann quite some time ago..

So ah Ann made Dada take a picture with her so as to 'punish' Dada for drawing the line to differentiate 'My' friend instead of 'Our' friend.

Baby, it is always about 'Us'.. and not just 'Me' and 'You' alright? So please remember.. It's us us us...

LOVE! =)

2008-04-17T03:28:00.005+08:00

I usually am asleep by this time but somehow tonight, the bed seems too uncomfortable for me to put my mind to rest..

Was thinking about what happened earlier in evening while Dada was doing her assignment. Of which, she was to describe someone who has a great influenced in her or something like that. As usual, i was seated next to her, peering over in the most kaypoish manner, while seeing her describe this influential "friend" as someone with overpowering confidence and spirit.

Of course being curious to know who this influential "friend" who served such a great impact in Dada's life was, i had to just open my mouth and ask.

"You lah!"

With all honesty, i was shocked! Me? No way.. Am definitely not that confident person as the way she described.

I remember growing up being the biggest size among my sister and cousins since i was the weird, tall, fat, gigantic monster standing beside them. All of them were pretty and petite and i was definitely no where close to being near that. It didn't help further when i had an almost incurable acne breakout during my adolescence years. And neither can one forget me for my trademark spongebob's two teeth.

Just a few days ago, my friends were commenting about a group of some "ugly looking rich people" during an outing. I didn't know what to say because i felt that i was in no way better than those ugly people they were talking about. All i can do is to lament why aint i as rich? Is God really fair?

I have always been insecure for as long as i can remember, and although I can bug Dada everyday to tell me that i am pretty and shuai, i would still only believe that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and that was the reason why she said i was good looking or so. Insecurities does make one somewhat possessive too. You'd always feel that you aint good enough to keep her from straying for someone better. Thank God Dada is one hell of a faithful girlfriend. =)

When I was younger, I had a senior whom I greatly admired. She was a very confident, strong, tough, coolheaded kind of person and will never relent to any grievances. I wanted to be like her. So strong, so well collected. Indeed. I became almost like that. I hardly cry. And my ex gfs have complained that i am nothing but a heartless creature who don't cry at even the worst scenario of a failing relationship.

Just a couple of years ago, i met this senior again. Instead of seeing that cool girl who always seemed unfazed at any terrible situation, I saw her cry. It was then i realized that there was no such thing as a superwoman. She was all just human.

Soon after, my ex left on the day she realized that it was useless crying over someone who shed no signs of emotions. I was, actually, dying inside. From that day, I realized that I was, human.

Thank God that he is fair after all. He gave me a beautiful girl together with so much love. I would say that in my entire life, only this part of it with her is the luckiest. Even when we are constantly judged by society standards, it is only the few special ones whose judgements are important.

Although it was in me that she see confidence that inspires her to seek that too, it was in her that gave me the strength to believe in myself, that 'I am beautiful.. no matter what they say.. words can't bring me down."

Who can remember those days in elementary school where everyone teased me for being a 'tomboy' and that 'i will never ever find a boyfriend to marry.'

Who cares? When this happy tomboy with that toothy grin has the bestest girlfriend in the world right now. =)

2008-04-15T23:57:00.003+08:00

I dreamt I was in Bangkok last night! =( The urge to go Bangkok is so strong, you'd probably see me there in my next entry. Right.. MY wishful thinking..

Back to Phuket. We decided to stay at the resort the next day, and decided to give our shot at sailing at the lagoon. We're on Catamaran sailing this time.

And although it was almost idiot-proof to get the sailboat to move, if the speed of it is too fast, together with the failure of correct weight distribution that can causes the boat to 'heel' beyond a certain point of stability, we may capsize!

Two persons are needed to sail the Catamaran. Of which, one is supposed to be in control of the force of the wind on the main sail as well as to manage the steering and direction of the boat. The other sailor will help with the managing and maneuver of the Jib sail .

I know nuts when asked in-depth technicalities of sailing. All i know that whenever the wind direction changes, the main sail moves together with the wind and sends the Boom (the lower metal bar of the sail - the black bar you see in the picture) heading towards your head in super fast speed. And if you're retarded and too slow to go under the bar and change your position to the other side of the boat, you'll end up being more retarded when the boom hits your head.

But that's where the fun is! Trying to control the mainsail, steering and escaping from the boom all at one time. Especially if you suck at multi-tasking.

But when you get used to it, keep it slow, just follow the breeze and enjoy the scenery. We're not racing anyway..

After sailing, we continued with kayaking..

And ermm.. paddle boat? hahaha..

Before heading out for a super late lunch..

We took another boat ride across the lagoon in search of food..

While our stomach were screaming in hunger.. we managed to make our way to this restaurant situated in the middle of a field? plantation? padi? ??? an hour later.

And there was a buffalo. Not that he was ploughing the fields or anything since he was apparently stuck to that position for more than an hour. For a moment i thought it was a statue or something

On a closer look.. no leh.. real one leh..

???

Great.. lotus.. how random..

Erm.. the main thing is.. it was.. quite a nice environment to dine in lah. And they served one of the better thai food that we ate in Phuket. They had free transportation services too. And.. the best thing is.. I forgot the name of the restaurant! hahaha.. great..

We had Tom Yam soup almost in every meal except breakfast.

Food, Glorious, Food..

So fast.. night fell..

But Mr Dom (the cab driver from Day 2) made our night shorter by making us wait an hour thanks to his disappearing act. And there were practically no cabs in sight at that ulu ulu hotel resort that we were staying at! Or at least the ones that were there charged exorbitant rates.

Thank goodness we met some nice lady at a shop nearby who owns this lovely, adorable, nice smelling, very obedient, happy dog, who helped us call a cab. I was almost in tears because i missed nuggets so much! Especially so when i was still worried about him being so ill back in Singapore.

Headed down to Patong for the highly anticipated nightlife there. There were loads of restaurants, shopping, art, babes, hunks, neon lights, blaring loud music..

And it was totally different from what we've seen Patong in the day!

Bars, clubs, Toyboys, Transexuals, it was almost like Patpong in Bangkok!

So happening... but the excitement did not last there.

On the way back to the resort, the driver was probably crazily high on propane or something. He sped all the way back at probably 120km/hr on the winding roads in the dark! I didnt even know how fast he was speeding at because his speedometer is at 0km/hr. He probably sped the needle off the meterboard! And although i admit that i am a speed junkie on Singapore roads, seating beside him made me feel as if i was in an F1 racing car. My heart was beating only for it's life! A couple of times, he almost lost control of his car and hit the oncoming vehicles. Blinded by the oncoming car beams and deafened by their horns, I have never felt such close proximity to death in that half an hour drive which seemed forever.

Well, at least when we reach back to our hotels, we each had a soothing massage by the hired masseurs..

2008-04-09T22:09:00.003+08:00

Busy stressed busy stressed.. I need a trip out of Singapore for a holiday soon please.. I know i've been going out a tad too often, but i really need to before my brains burst! Any kind souls out there willing to bring me out? Ahh... Just thinking about Phuket alone will make me happy for the entire day.

On the first day of Phuket, we actually met a taxi driver, Dom, who was rather nice. Very compromising and very polite. He went the extra mile of playing tour guide, introducing us to the many cultural spectaculars of Phuket/Thailand. At 1200 baht (est S$50), he was willing to take us around Phuket for a day. And so, we made an arrangement with him to take us around on the third day.

First stop was Chalong Temple.

The main religion in Phuket (and in Thailand) is Theravada Buddhism and most Thai men will enter monkhood for a period of time in their lives before they are acknowledged as matured adults. Buddhism is regarded with such high reverence, it is blatantly visible in it's grand demeanor and majestic structure of the temples.

Accumulation of religious merit is of great importance as a Buddhist. One of which can be done so by offering offerings which includes incense sticks, flowers, candles to Lord Buddha in the temple.

Well, there should be much more to discover within the premises if we hadn't been unfamiliar with their religion and culture. With all respect but plain ignorance, Dada and I were not allowed into the temple premises as we were supposedly too skimpily dressed.

Suddenly while walking around the temple, a chain of loud explosions came from a little distance away. Looking towards that direction, we spotted this big furnace. Actually.. it's not exactly a furnace larh.. It looks like one but with a different purpose.

The Thais actually ~~play~~ light up firecrackers (those that China people light up during CNY) inside this 'furnace'. They will light up a firecracker while making a wish, and the blast will apparently send the prayers and wishes up into the skies to the Gods above.

I am not exactly sure about this tree.. But I shall assume that it is a Bodhi tree. In which, from my minimal knowledge of Buddhism, an Indian prince found enlightenment and became Buddha while meditating underneath.

Chalong temple was one of the more interesting activities of the day.

After Chalong, we moved on to shoot some guns.

Real pistols..

With nice real bullets..

Headed for lunch..

Then to a fruit market where we got a whole load of cheap fruits bcos we were so constipated! Look at Dada face and you would understand what i mean.. haha.. i am so evil..

And the durians there were HUGE!!

AND i found something rather interesting. You know when you're looking for 'models' or spokesperson to advertise for your product. Probably go for someone like VJ Utt or someone like.. say Tata young? A mixture of both would be still quite fine..

This is more THAN a mixture. More likely cough mixture.. And please tell me what was ~~she~~ he advertising for? Imagine seeing him on the display of an NUM store.

...

We really made full use of the day and headed to places such as the cashew nut factory, shopping at some air-conditioned weekend styled market, Duty free shopping and pearl factory which were quite stupid, batik painting outlet, almost to the elephant ride and monkey sch but decided not to go when we were just at their doorstep, and a horrible Go-Kart ride in which my go-kart failed on me so it couldn't reach it's maximum speed of 60km/hr. =( And everyone else were having fun except me!

Even the ride to out final pitstop, Promthep cape, was more exciting than my go-kart. It was almost sunset by the time we finished our ride. And Promthep cape, supposedly beautiful for it's sunset, was about 40 mins away. It didn't make things better when there was a massive jam away. Mr Dom took away half the time needed and sped us all the way there, going in between and out of the other vehicles as if he was riding a motorbike!

We made it there in time. However, Promthep Cape wasn't as beautiful as i expected it to be.

Rather, it was overcrowded and touristy.

Then again, it was a nice good setting to end the day..

2008-04-01T00:50:00.002+08:00

After the almost sleepless night, we woke up really early to the 2nd morning of our trip. A 45 mins journey on a charted van brought us to the harbour where we got onto a small yatch and headed towards the Phi Phi islands. One of the few islands around Phuket which survived the 2004 tsunami drownings, while taking over 4000 lives away at the same time.

It is said that the sea surrounding the area is clearer than in the last 20 years after the tsunami. However, the extensive damages to the corals were visibly evident when we had a free 'foot reflexology' session walking on dead corals on the sea bed. The sharp broken edges of the corals had everyone screaming in pain.

Thankfully, mother nature did not take away its charm from Ko PhiPhi, and there was much for us to just simply gaze and marvel at her beauty.

One of my favourite was Maya Bay.

With it's fine white sand, crystal clear water and beautiful landscape, there is no wonder why she was being chosen for the backdrop of Hollywood movie - 'The Beach'.

" Phi Phi’s beauty is a large chunk of the allure. The islands, when approached by boat, rise from the sea like a fortress. Sheer cliffs tower overhead, then give way to beach-fronted jungle. It’s love at first sight. " - www.phuket.com

Love at first sight. My exact sentiments.

I think we're damn fortunate to have such a beautiful getaway in the midst of S.E. Asia, just an hour and a half away from home. While the ang mohs have to spend thousands of dollars to make their way to this earthly paradise, we can stick our two thumbs on our cheeks, wriggle the rest of our fingers at them, and be glad that we can do so for possibly less than half a grand. (Sadly we spent much more than that for this trip since we kept getting cheated. =( I digress).

A pity i didn't bring a better camera along. But even with these few photographs i have taken, it's enough to do most of the talking for this blog entry.

One of our stops, Viking Cave. A place where bird nests are hunted to be exported to countries such as Malaysia and Singapore. I am not sure about how i feel about the whole bird nest thing, all i know is that the whole picturesque of the cave with the sparkling clear water beneath it is simply beautiful.

Although my Aquapac failed on me when water started sipping into the pack, threatening to 'kill' my camera which was in it, the breathtaking phiphi-scape was worth all risk of being charged with 'attempted murder'.

There were so many fishes, it was quite scary initially when they're all over you, surrounding you. Thanks to one of the locals who, with all good intentions, wanted Dada and I to see the fishes up and close, started throwing bread at us. And for an instant we felt like a big chunk of meat that was being thrown into the water, sending the fishes on attack mode. We could almost feel their little teeth working on the flesh of our bodies.

Having hundreds of fishes squishing themselves onto my body made me feel like i was in a sardine can for a moment, and at the same time send adrenaline levels soaring. It was almost painless larh, but the experience was overwhelming, incredible, and definitely priceless.

The same nice fella (whom i apologetically forgot his name), also brought us into the deeper waters to see the more interesting corals and sea animals. Sadly, being armed with a non-waterproof camera and a failing Aquapac, I wasn't able to produce nice underwater photographs.

There were so many sea urchins (squint hard to see the black spiky thing sitting on the corals), the Japanese would be so glad to serve up their fresh sashimi from within PhiPhi waters. They're one of my favourite sea creatures and the girls were busy helping me to spot them! I love their sparkling shiny yellow eyes. Damn cute!

Then, we found ourselves at Monkey Bay.

Nothing really interesting except for the fact that these primates are almost human-like.

And this is one of my favourite spot at Koh Khai Nai. Our last stop before being transported back to main Phuket island.

All sun burnt and physically burnt-out. Cooling down the heat were us 'stealing' ice from the ice-collection station in the middle of the night.

Then dinner was served, well-done...

Cows was medium-well, Al was pan seared sashimi,

Both Dada and I were medium-rare.

After all of us were marinated with aloe vera, it was time to refrigerate us overnight and look forward to our fate on Day 3. =) =) =)

2008-03-24T10:47:00.003+08:00

Sawadee Kup.. I'm back from the land of smiles.. =) =) =) I know I haven't been on MSN for about 3 weeks already. Not that I was there for 3 weeks la, just dont feel like logging on. Get me on my mobile if you're looking for me ya?

It was a rather short break, but a fruitful one.

Woke up to a damn early morning to hop onto the first flight to Phuket.

At the airport..

Our first day was just about getting around there, familiarizing ourselves with the mode of transportation, sourcing out for things to do, and of course untying the knots of our hairs to let it down!

We headed down to Patong, but since it is made up mostly of Nightspots and Night shopping, it was almost like a dead town when we visited it at 11a.m. (We did head down to Patong again at night but that will be in the later entry.)

And the must take photograph whenever i go abroad. Starbucks and I...

And of course wherever I am, I wish for my love to be with me too..

We went for 1hour facial + full body massage at 395baht (equivalent est S$18) each. Consider quite cheap la. Can't really compare Phuket with Bangkok although both are in Thailand. Prices in Phuket are exorbitant mainly because it is very much of a tourist destination, to the point that there seemed to be more angmohs than locals in most areas.

Even taking the taxi or tuk tuk, we can hardly hitch a deal without paying less than 500baht (S$23) even after bargaining. It'll probably be less than a 100baht for the same ride in Bangkok.

The only difference being the tuk tuk in Phuket is four wheeled whereas the ones in Bangkok are three wheeled. Perhaps the additional wheel is due to the uneven terrains and hilly roads in Phuket. I doubt a three wheeled tuk tuk can make it's way up the steep slopes.

That was our one and only tuk tuk ride in Phuket. For one, it was really too warm to travel in that mode of transportation compared to the comfortable air conditioned taxi since the price was the same for both.

And it was really kinda dangerous to take the tuk tuk with all the unclosed door and windows. Making our way around the fast sharp bends on the mountainous roads with all the faster cars and bikes zooming pass us is quite scary. The tuk tuk is one hell of a tortise on the road. Even slower than the motorbikes which make up 70% of the vehicles there.

Road conditions, although much better than that of Bangkok and China, isn't exactly good. It is as if there isn't any traffic regulations in place at all.

Helmet-less motorbikes, 3 people on one bike, motorist splitting single lanes into three lanes, underage driving (We saw a 10 year old boy riding a motorbike!). Goodness.. so scary.

Anyway, it was still very much an interesting experience traveling on the roads.

The tuk tuk fella brought us to Robinsons somewhere in the city. But there was absolutely nothing there except for one boring shopping centre. After asking around, we realised that there was actually nothing to do at that area. Kena Kah (cheated) la. So we took a taxi down to Central Festival which was also loated at Phuket town but a distance away. A nice shopping mall with a lot of brand named stores. But that wasn't what we're at Phuket for. Not for expensive shopping or food.

Thus, we headed down to this shopping mall in the middle of some ulu ulu place a short walk away from Central Festival.

Following this path down to a local shopping mall called Big C where lesser Ang Mohs and more locals are at.

As I have mentioned, they have such a big motorcyclist population, there is even a huge carpark just for them.

Big C was very much boring compared to Central Festival though. At least we had our MK steamboat dinner which was super cheap. Apparently, different MK outlets at different venues charge differently.

Back at the resort that we stayed at. Allamanda @ Laguna Phuket. Located at Bangtao Beach, 20 mins away from Phuket Town and 30 mins from Patong Beach.

A very nice peaceful resort.

Night activities included supper.. mahjong.. random tv shows..

and.. Beer.. all night long..

I bet Cows was damn happy la.. since beer was as cheap as water. If i am not wrong, the cheapest we found was 20 baht (S$0.90) for a 1l bottle?

We stayed in a Two bedroom suite which was a very comfortable size for us 4 people.

This is the smaller room in which Ms Cows and partner stayed in..

And they kindly let us have the bigger room with the King sized bed.

Both with attached bathroom and bathtub.

The common area between our rooms were the kitchen,

the dinning area, and the living room.

And that was about all for the first day of our trip.. until i received a call that woke me up at 3a.m. in the morning.

It was my mum from Singapore! I thought i was dreaming when she told me that Nuggets was in a very bad condition and had to be hospitalized!

He has been vomiting non-stop and there was blood in his stool. My most beloved mummy had to find for a vet in the middle of the night, running all over Singapore while being frantically worried about my little boy, finding for a vet which is opened.

Thank goodness she did. Because the doctor said that a little later and nuggets would have died of dehydration. Poor boy had to be put on drip. And when i came home, she told me a list of frightening things the vet told her. Including stuff like he might have gotten the Parvol virus which is a 99% incurable disease, and even after going through a series of blood test and X-rays, the doctor still could not determine what was wrong with him.

And please, don't ask about the hospital bills and the cost for his follow up visits. My mum had a shock after shock! I would probably have gone to Australia instead of Phuket with all that money spent.

Of course, i could not sleep the entire night worried sick for my little boy on the first night there. I thank God that Nuggets is alright now, and of course my beloved dada for being with me and patiently making me feel that everything is just gonna be alright.

To my dear CUZZIES who may be reading this entry. Please keep all these strictly to yourself. Of which includes my Phuket trip and Nuggets's hospitalization. Thanks babes!